Mira, gringa!!

I have a lot of more depthful things on my mind that I want to write about soon (as well as a strong desire to tell everyone I know about my gym here because it’s hilarious) so that stuff is coming.  For now, something pretty superficial but that was running through my head and I wanted to record.

 

Ways people will know you’re not chilean

 

You carry a waterbottle

You drink water at all when juice, soda, or alcohol is available

You wear shorts ever (even at the gym)

You dress as if it’s spring when it’s 60-70 degrees outside instead of wearing a parka

You smile at people on the metro

You say “salud” when someone sneezes

You abstain from any of the following: any type of meat, alcohol, cigarettes

Your skin falls outside the color range of white to medium brown

You seek out coffee that isn’t nescafe and isn’t instant

You still get excited every time you see manjar

You don’t know what a chirimoya is

Your digestive system can’t handle white bread for breakfast, white bread for onces, and white bread with lunch, every single day

You say “adios” instead of “ciao”

You’re in a rush or look for a schedule

You don’t know how to light a gas powered hot water heater and/or ever forget to do this before you shower

You expect hot water for washing dishes

You leave the lights on in rooms you’re not occupying

You try to go out clubbing within the same day that you started getting ready (aka before midnight)

You are a stylish young man and your hair is not in one of the following conditions: rat tail, mullet, mullet in the front and three to seven thick dread locks in the back, one rat dread lock, dreads

You drink your coffee black

You don’t add salt to everything you eat, or you sometimes think things have too much salt in them

You go for runs outside (or worse, use an agility ladder in the park)

You’ve never heard of Colocolo

 

Ways I know I’m becoming more Chilean

I drink a shit ton of lipton yellow label tea

I’m not hungry for a real dinner at dinner time

I no longer say salud when someone sneezes

When I see someone wearing shorts I think “gringo!”

Streets dogs no longer phase me

I can almost say “cachai” without smirking

Hearing someone say “po” every other word no longer detracts from my comprehension of what they’re saying.

I no longer use the word “salir” to mean “to leave” but rather “to go out” as in partay

I can push my way onto the metro with the best of them

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